Today was the reason why God invented holidays, for those of us who are rich enough to be able to take them!
Dean and I went furniture shopping this morning before heading to Logos, in order to get a few things for the new school. the X-Stream group from Seven Oaks in Abbotsford has fundraised some money for us, and I was hoping to use some of it on library furniture, Dean needed something for the office.
High: We went to the "furniture street" and looked around a bit--I found good seating at a shop and was elated when the deal was settled. Low: When Dean and I parted ways, (we were each going to run separate errands on our motos before going back to school), I headed down the street, only to be pulled over by my favorite people, the Cambodian traffic police. Not again.
Turns out, the street we were on, that starts out as a normal, two way street, suddenly turns mid stream into a one way, and the cops sit about 50 metres past the well hidden "do not enter" sign, and pull people over. I was shocked, had no idea that this street was like this, and apparently, neither did Dean! There he was on his moto, we had said goodbye not 1 minute before, and he'd been caught too. He, however, had called "the powers that be," some of his "connections" and apparently had got the fine down to $2.50. So, I jabbered on and on in english about how unfair this was and "you shouldn't treat foreigners who come to your country to help this way" kind of yada yada, and dug out my $2.50 to pay.
I pay, and peel out of there as fast as I can, only to get another 50 metres, turn right, where the arrow said I could go, and another cop comes off the sidewalk to pull me over! I was shocked and really ticked, and tried to avoid him. He got hold of my moto and I stopped, but then I just gave it the gas and pulled off. He hit the back of my bike with his baton, but missed me. Others we know have been hit by the baton that they all carry (if you try to run, some of them try to hit you) and others I know have had their car hit.
By now, I'm shook up, and start to crying. I pulled over further on, tried to decide where to go or if I should just go home, but I just could not stop crying! Behind a helmet and a facemask, my eyes just poured tears! It's just not fair--I didn't DO anything wrong!!! (or so I thought.) I finally turned around to head to one last store before going home for lunch, but couldn't even make it there. Decided to stop for "coffee" (an iced coffee, that is,) and try to regroup. Still crying, not sure why.
I sit at the coffee shop, Dean calls and I try to tell him why I'm so upset (he didn't see me get pulled over by the second cop just seconds later) and you're not going to believe what he called my attention to. You know when I left the first cops? Peeled out of there after shoving my money at them? Ya, discombublated BRAINO, took off in EXACTLY THE SAME DIRECTION--AGAINST THE ONE WAY THAT I HAD JUST BEEN PULLED OVER FOR!!! That's why the second cop tried to get me--he saw me coming the wrong way off the one way! What a fool, and an idiot! Even Dean said the cops were waving after me, and he was trying to yell for me to stop but I was gone. I don't know what I was thinking except that I was trying to get to a certain street, and it was that direction and I just went brain dead.
Well, at least the second pull over made sense now, however, I still was feeling a little rough. SO, I sat crying, in the coffee shop, and pulled out my bible. Hey, maybe not reading this little book for a few days has something to do with my state of mind??? Brothers and Sisters, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
What do I open up to? Acts 9, I think, where the Roman Centurian invited Simon Peter to his home, and Peter has the vision of the animals coming down on "what looked like a sheet" and he was told that what you eat doesn't matter, where you go (to a Gentiles home) doesn't matter. Jesus came and died for everyone. And I was so convicted.
You see, it's been crunch time for us. We've made the family decision that we are pursuing a third year at Logos. And now the doubt is creeping in and our enemy is using what he can to disuade us that this is what God wants for us and that staying in Cambodia longer is God's will for us! I mean, in my tears and fury, as I ran away from the authority here in this country, I just swore and said out loud, "I HATE this place!" I mean, that is what Satan wants me to believe!!!
It's so easy to think at this stage of the game, "you know what? I don't HAVE to stay, I could just go back this summer, after enjoying a lovely trip to Australia, then resume "normal," easy life! I've done my share, I've obeyed God, and now I can have my life back" It's easy to slip into this selfish thinking! Even this past Sunday, we heard from one of our favorite guest preachers at ICA (Timothy Paton, a frenchman, with a lovely thick accent when he preaches in English!)) He asked," Are you still passionate about the lost? Do you still see the poverty, the suffering, the need for Good News... are you still passionate about what brought you here?" Yes, it would be easier to just say, "yup, all finished. Boy, wasn't that a great ride!" But God wants us to TRUST him. I've gone the way of trusting myself, and let me tell you, greater things come from the smallest submission to God, than the greatest effort I ever put forth!!!!
Over Christmas, at Stephanie's insistence, I read the book "the Hiding Place," the true story of Corrie Ten Boom, the famous dutch woman who worked for the resistance in WWII, and who helped as many jews as she could, hide from the germans, then was taken to a concentration camp herself. What a great read, if you haven't ever read it, I recommend it, because it is so incredibly faith building. The way Corrie and her sister Betsy, who died in that camp, just kept thanking God for EVERYTHING they had there (including the fleas, amazingly, that kept even the guards away from them, so they could share god's love and hope with everyone there.) I mean, if those ladies could thank God for their situation in a concentrations camp, then couldn't I thank God for the opportunity to stay here (where it's anything but a prison camp--we have so much freedom here, to share God's love, it's amazing!) Can't I be thankful, maybe even for the police???
So, then, I thanked God for the bible reading. I thanked God that he came for everyone, the Jews and the Gentiles. I thanked Him that he died for all the Cambodians, even those sitting right there in that cafe, ignoring me as I cried. And I even thanked him for the police, for making me see my horrible indignity towards them, and my pride and arrogance, and I wondered what Jesus would do to a heart, if the next time I was stopped, if I gave freely, even more than required, and told them that this money was for their children, and that JEsus loves them. Don't you think that's what Jesus would have done? Maybe...
Anyways, I regrouped and saw alot of stuff more clearly, but the day didn't get that much better. Hormones were raging, let me tell you. I went home, had lunch with the girls (I feel guilty for leaving them, especially Maya, but they have some things to do and we're trying to arrange for hanging out with friends.) I got to school and, of course, nothing (and I mean NOTHING) of anything that was supposed to be done, was done. The computer desks being fitted for the library weren't installed (supposed to be done yesterday), the library floors not swept or mopped (swept into piles yesterday, still there), and the music room was untouched, although I had been told yesterday by the head cleaner that it would be cleaned today. It's something that Cambodia can do to you, is to take away your hope sometimes, that something might get done that someone tells you will get done, depending on who that person is. It's like a big, happy surprise when something actually get's done on time, or the way you have asked for it to be.
I swept the rest of the library. Ly helped, bless him. He has so much to do and tomorrow he's even taking a 16 year old girl that his family knows from the province, to the dentist and paying for her to have a whole bunch of her permanent, rotten teeth removed.
I waited for about 2 hours for cleaners to come back from lunch (i'm not exaggerating) and when I did, I begged for the library to be mopped. They continued to sweep the hallway. I took the broom from her hand, and said, no, go mop the library. The poor girl took off like a shot and started mopping the library. I waited outside the library door until she was actually DOING it. I left to start sweeping the music room.
It was not likely that when I went back to check on her work after about 20 minutes, that I would find her mopping. I didn't. The other cleaner was there, telling me something in khmer about going upstairs. I just couldn't take it anymore. I lovingly went to the person in charge of them to ask WHY they REFUSED to clean the floor (that I swept for them, because they didn't do that either!!!) SHe said it wasn't their area! The girl that cleans the library floor didn't come back from lunch, even though she's getting paid and said she would return.
Do you know that on Monday, I asked for cleaners to clean the music room and library, and was told that they wouldn't be coming in until THURSDAY, one of the resons being because they didn't get lunch. Seriously. The school is a MESS, it's still a construction war zone, and there is enough cleaning for our staff, who I must add are being paid to do this job, to clean from today until the very moment that kids arrive on Monday morning (not to mention we're hosting an opening ceremonies on Saturday!)
I guess I finally came to the realization that the buck stops with me. Once I finally accepted what I've known all along to be the inevitable, I just left them not cleaning the library I resolved to clean up the music room myself, and I spent hours today sweeping concrete dust and left over air con garbage into a huge bag. Glad I had a mask. At 5 o'clock, when I left the school, the cleaners were out at the gate just siting around with the guard, one was drinking an iced coffee from a bag. What to do???
ANyways, enjoyed a lovely ordered in supper at our friends the Dedert's place and we all got to hold little Calvine, who by the way, is doing pretty good, gaining weight and reaching some milestones. He's super sweet, STeph can't get enough of him. It was nice to enjoy some company.
For me, today was a reminder of my sinful nature, and evertime I think I'm doing a good job or that I'm "not that bad" of a person, I think all I need to do is remind myself of today. It was a mess, just like my music room. Thank the Lord He came to save me from this wretchedness! However, tonight, I'm going to rest well. That will help a little. And I'm going to give thanks for the cleaners.
